A Friendship Lost: The Cost of Choosing to Serve
A Friendship Lost: The Cost of Choosing to Serve
Blog Article
For Yael, an 18-year-old Jewish woman from Hamburg, the decision to join the Israeli army was a deeply personal one. It was a choice made out of gratitude, a desire to give back to a country that had protected her. But this decision came at a cost—one she hadn’t anticipated. In the aftermath of the October 7 Hamas attack and the war that followed, Yael lost her closest friend, a rift that speaks to the deep divisions the conflict has caused, even far from the Middle East.
Sitting in a café in Hamburg, Yael and her father, Ilan, reflect on the past few weeks. They have chosen to remain anonymous, fearing backlash, but they want their story to be told. It is a story of loyalty, identity, and the painful realization that friendships can be shattered by politics.
A Decision Rooted in Experience
Yael’s connection to Israel goes beyond her copyright. Though she grew up in Germany, at 15, she moved to Israel to attend boarding school near Tel Aviv. There, she experienced life under the constant threat of attack. In May 2021, as Hamas rockets rained down, she and her classmates rushed to bomb shelters, listening to the explosions outside. "Everything was shaking," she recalls. "I could see the smoke trails of the Israeli defensive missiles."
Despite the fear, those years shaped her. Now, as she prepares to enlist in the Israeli army in January, she speaks with quiet determination. "I want to give something back," she says. "I was protected for three years. Now, I want to protect others." She has completed her suitability test, but she has yet to decide on a specific unit. She knows she will soon hold a weapon in her hands and may one day be called upon to use it. "I’m not afraid of it," she says.
Her father listens with pride and concern. Concern for her safety in an increasingly volatile region, but also concern about the growing hostility toward Jews in Germany.
A Friendship Ends Over Politics
Just weeks ago, Yael and her best friend—inseparable since fifth grade—sat together, laughing as they shared vacation photos. Then, the conversation turned to Gaza. Her friend mentioned the strike near the hospital that killed many civilians. They discussed the suffering on both sides, the Israeli settlements, the oppression of Palestinians. And then, her friend said something that shattered their friendship forever:
"If you join the Israeli army, you’ll be part of a genocide."
Yael was stunned. She tried to reason with her friend, to explain why she was joining. But her friend refused to listen. "I don’t think I can be friends with an Israeli soldier," she said.
Heartbroken, Yael asked, "Do you still want to have contact with me?"
Her friend’s answer was final: "No. It wouldn’t be consistent with my moral values."
With that, their years of friendship ended. As they parted, her friend simply said, "I wish you a nice life."
The Larger Divide in Germany
For Ilan, his daughter’s lost friendship is more than just a personal tragedy—it is a reflection of the wider atmosphere in Germany. He has lived in the country for decades, but moments like this remind him that Jewish people are often kept at arm’s length. "Especially those who stand up for themselves, like my daughter," he says.
His younger son was supposed to celebrate his bar mitzvah days ago, with over a hundred guests invited. But Ilan canceled the event. "I couldn’t stand the thought of celebrating and dancing while others were dying," he says.
Yael is still grieving the loss of her friend. "I cried when we said goodbye," she admits. But her resolve remains. She knows her decision to serve will continue to define her life—both in Israel and in Germany.
https://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/jewish-life-in-germany-a-sudden-ominous-sense-of-insecurity-a-e21696e4-35f8-4c32-9300-f875885ef638 Report this page